Is It Weird to Hope You Have Swine Flu?


I am sick. Really sick. My arms and legs hurt, I can't breathe through my nose. I have a light annoying fever that's not high enough to kill anything off. I have of course googled swine flu and flu vs. cold to figure out what I have. I have no idea it could be any of the three. Hoping it's the oink oink flu though because then I'd be inoculated; right?

Anyway it reminds me of when parents sent their children to get the measles and what not from their neighbors, but I am hoping this is the swine flu or at least some kind of flu so that my pain is serving some sort function. I mean I work with immigrants from all around the world everyday right, my building is like a little UN of germs so having one of the flus should be a good thing.

The really awful part? I have gone to work everyday. I know. I went on Monday because I had no choice; but I had enough time to call in sick today but the money I'd lose stopped me. I have done what I can-- using the alcohol hand wash compulsively and trying to breathe on people as little as possible. I don't want to infect my coworkers and I really don't want to infect all of the immigrants because most of them can afford to miss work even less than I can, and they rarely have insurance either. So I feel evil. I'm going to work tomorrow too-- now my excuse is that I 'm on the mend .

What do you do when your actions absolutely don't coincide with that little ethical voice inside you? Apperantly I ignore it compulsively.
Oh yeah and so far ZERO work on the big D this week.